Are you ever worried that you will be investing more effort and time in the wedding than your groom? You might have heard stories of how grooms take the I-don’t-care seat and take any decisions nonchalantly, and you are afraid that your groom might end up doing the same. But somehow, there is this burning belief that he is not going to be of any help because of his simple-mindedness or easygoing attitude towards any matter.
Does the above sound familiar?
Stop there if you starting to believe the above! Instead of shouldering the whole wedding on your delicate shoulders, here are 5 reasons why you should try to involve your groom in the decision making.
It Might Lead To Unnecessary Miscommunication (And A Tiny Bit Of Anger)
The human mind is very selective when it comes to information and sometimes we may unintentionally communicate an inaccurate piece of information.
For example, you might be entering a bridal boutique to know more about the bridal packages, dishing out all the questions to clarify certain things. You try to communicate the things you heard to your groom but he might not understand the terminologies that were exchanged between you and the bridal consultant. As you struggle to explain what they mean, a look of utter confusion starts to surface and you can feel the annoyance bubbling in your tummy, like a pot of hot lava. (FYI this can happen to either gender too)
Although some of you have not gone through the above (kudos to you!), but at some point of time you might have gone through a similar experience, and it isn’t exactly a great feeling either.
However, it doesn’t mean that it is fully your groom’s fault for not being able to grasp certain concepts! Perhaps there are certain things that he doesn’t understand, which is why it is advisable to hear them from an expert’s point of view!
Solution: Work on a schedule that allows you and your groom to be able to make decisions and work something out. For example, if the both of you are available on a Sunday to visit a bridal boutique, then do so together!
Get A Different Perspective On Certain Matters
How often are you able to think rationally when you are undergoing immense amounts of tension and stress? Almost never.
Don’t get us wrong! Weddings are beautiful but it is a lie if it doesn’t come with frustrations and those moments when you need to gorge on ice cream to feel better about yourselves.
That’s how having your groom in the picture helps you keep in place. Having your groom with you will allow him to understand the situation and perhaps offer a perspective, or even a bigger picture that you were unable to see from. At the same time, he gets to understand what you are going through and be able to help you whenever.
Solution: Spend a fair bit of time to share your thoughts with your groom and let him share his opinions about the matter. But keep an open mind!
Let Your Partner Have The Sense Of Participation
Imagine that you and your partner just bought a flat in Singapore. Both of you come together to decide on the layout of the house, from the type of wall papers, to the colours of the bed sheets and even to the design of the furniture. It is a great feeling when the both of you work together towards a mutual decision because the eventual result is built on what the both of you want.
Based on experience and talking to some of our grooms, it is suggested that most grooms don’t mind being a part of making decisions in the wedding, from selecting the bridal boutique to the wedding gowns to the concept of your pre wedding photography and even to consolidating the wedding guest list. In fact, it makes them feel that the responsibility is split fairly among each other!
So, let your partner have a sense of participation and make decisions together. Not only will you feel less alone, the both of you will grow to learn more about each other and compromise to come to a conclusion that best fit the both of you/
But that being said, it doesn’t mean that you have to consult him about every nitty gritty detail. For example, you don’t have to confide in him on every wedding gown you have tried on. You can ask what looks better but at the end of the day, you should be confident in what you are wearing. Besides, you are already probably the most beautiful, and that’s all that truly matters. Right?
Solution: Assign a few tasks to your groom, let him take responsibility and trust that he can do a good job! And skip asking too many questions about your wedding gown.
You Will Burn Out A Lot More Faster If You Do Things Alone
When you make the decisions on your own, it feels like the weight of the world is pressing on your shoulders. At some point of time, you might feel that you are struggling under the piles of stress and frustrations and you start to think there isn’t anyone, including your groom, who can make you feel better.
It can be a challenge to shake off that feeling but instead of letting it happen, get your partner to be a part of the plans and decisions. The wedding is between you and your groom, and any stress should be shouldered together. Otherwise, if you do let the worries balloon up, it will definitely lead to unpleasant quarrels which may result in permanent damage to the relationship. Not worth the risk, my dear bride.
Solution: Stop spending your days worrying about the wedding. Take a breezer with your groom and unwind! If he permits, you can use him as a punching bag (but don’t injure him)!
You Will Understand Each Other’s Concerns
While making decisions together, you and your groom may discover each other’s concerns about the wedding. For example, he might find out that wedding gowns are something extremely important to you and your deepest fears of looking worse than your bridesmaid on the wedding day. On the other hand, you might figure that he is worried about wedding photography or even about how the suit/tuxedo may not suit him as well!
Through the period of time of figuring out each other’s pains and worries, the both of you will behave as a team and work towards ensuring that the other party’s feelings are not neglected. Even when you are under all the stress from the wedding, you know that you are not facing them alone because your groom knows what you are going through.
Solution: Just be there for each other, both physically and mentally.
You might be thinking these 5 reasons are so simple, but sometimes, the simpler things in life are much harder to achieve! A marriage isn’t simply about having a memorable wedding. A marriage is a commitment to know more about each other. Every day brings forth a new lesson and the both of you grow towards becoming better individuals.
Sure, there are decisions that can be made independently, like what you should eat for lunch, who should book the movie tickets and so forth. However, a wedding revolves around decisions that you can’t simply turn back and change. Weddings only happen once in a lifetime (hopefully), and there is no way you can turn back at some junctures.
Bottom line is, don’t underestimate the concept of doing things together. Otherwise, what’s really the point of getting married! It is to be there for each other and of course, annoy each lovingly!