Hello future wedding guests,
How has your day been? Mine has been great because I just had the most wonderful wedding! It was an absolute dream to celebrate this occasion with my loved ones and knowing that the rest of my life is going to be so much more beautiful with the partner of my dreams right beside. I know it seems shameless for me to say this, but I looked so beautiful in my wedding gown, and that was one of the most unforgettable feeling!
The reason why I am writing this open letter is because of this burning desire to share my wedding experience with you. Not that it was horrible or anything. In fact, it was far from terrible, but we had our fair share of troubles with our wedding guests that made us shake our heads but there’s nothing much we could do then! I have also witnessed a few episodes of my then engaged friends going bonkers when things weren’t going their way.
Hence we thought it will be great to teach wedding guests proper etiquette. Here are 4 rules wedding guests should follow!
1. Thou Shall Not Be Late For The Wedding Banquet
I am guessing it is an Asian Culture to be fashionably late. Arriving at the banquet 15 minutes late almost deserves a round of applause…since most of the wedding guests waltz in later than that.
Although I am not angry about it, I have to admit that it got on my nerves. As a wedding guest, you should understand that you were invited to celebrate this happy occasion with me. This also means that you need to respect it by coming in on time. Being late means that the wedding banquet can only start later, and it isn’t fair for those who chose to come earlier!
Plus, what if I have wedding guests who specially flew to Singapore to attend my wedding, and perhaps have an early flight the day after or even on the day of the wedding? You sauntering in like a model equates to eating up people’s limited eating time! Geez.
Bottom line: Estimate the time taken to reach the venue and leave 15 minutes earlier before the best timing.
2. Thou Shall Not Comment (Too Much) On How A Wedding Should Be Like
When I was in the midst of planning my wedding, several opinions on how the wedding should have been like were thrown at my partner and I. Relatives (a.k.a busybodies) felt the need to ‘control’ my wedding by deciding on how the tables should be arranged. For example, an aunt of mine insisted of sitting with this other aunt. She then informed me of how the seating arrangement should be like, and it got quite maddening because it wasn’t just her doing that to me.
It is already a challenge to complete the seating arrangement. Please understand that we took great lengths to allocate everyone to different tables and that it wastes a lot more time to rearrange just so you can talk to a particular somebody.
Also, there were cases where relatives expect to have a certain kind of cuisine and casually mention about what they prefer. Personally I think it is alright to provide recommendations but sometimes, it is best to leave the couple to decide on everything. I once saw a bride who had such a difficult time deciding on her wedding venue because of how her family insisted on eating Chinese cuisine and how Western cuisine is ‘out of the picture’, which was something she preferred all along.
Lastly, it is never right to comment on the choice of wedding gown. If it makes the bride feel beautiful, then be supportive of her choices and not put her down! Don’t chide her for choosing a certain design or telling her that her wedding gown isn’t ‘nice’ enough. As long as she is happy, then don’t spoil the moment. The last thing she needs is to feel insecure about her wedding gown!
Bottom line: It is alright to comment but be supportive at the same time. If you feel that the comment is not going to be constructive, then that’s your cue to keep things to yourself.
3. Thou Shall RSVP Any Wedding.
During my wedding preparation, I don’t know what was more stressful: finding my dream wedding gown or counting the number of people attending my wedding. When my married friends told me about how it was completely stressful when you have no idea how many people are attending your wedding, I didn’t really get it and thought it wasn’t much of a big deal. Guess who had the last laugh..
If you don’t already know (and mind you, don’t laugh this off), it is of great importance to know how many people are attending your wedding. Why? Your response has a great impact on the seating arrangement. By indicating your attendance, I will be able to allocate your seat and placed you with people who you feel more comfortable. I might even give you a plus one if you happen to not have a friend at my wedding!
If you don’t RSVP (or choose to confirm with me despite of the numerous calls I made), then it becomes very hard for me to arrange the seating. If I were to assume that you were coming, then I might run the risk of wasting a seat if you chose to not attend my wedding. Likewise, if I were to assume that you weren’t coming, then what am I supposed to do if you decide to come for the wedding? I can’t possibly ask you to go home just because you didn’t RSVP right?
Also, it can be very stressful when people back out of the wedding at the very last minite. Unless you have a legitimate reason why you are unable to attend a wedding, then do update us as soon as possible if you somehow find out that you are unable to make it to the wedding. Otherwise, there will be one more wasted seat and the pinch is real.
Bottom line: Just RSVP! It doesn’t take imemnse effort to respond to an invite right?
4. Thou Shall Not Make A Huge Scene At The Wedding.
Wine and beer is part and parcel of any wedding, and too much of it can ruin the wedding. I have attended a few weddings which came with drunk uncles who kept drinking alcohol despite of their drunken stupor. It was absolutely rowdy and broke the momentum of the wedding, such as the speech from the couples or when the performers were trying their best to entertain everybody at the wedding.
It is completely disrespectful to do so because nobody enjoys noise unless they have paid for it. What’s more, the attention is stolen from the couple, which isn’t right because the full focus of the wedding guests only belong to the couple!
Bottom line: Bottoms up, but please restrict the drinking if your threshold isn’t good! If you find yourself feeling tipsy, put that glass of wine down, and throw ice cold water on your face (we are kidding)!
Of course, there might be numerous stories out there that couples have gone through that I have yet to go through or witnessed it myself. If you have any interesting stories, do share with us!