Wedding norms contain very wide spectrum. They can range from anything related to date of your wedding, colour of your wedding outfits to red packets given to the wedding couple. You must have heard of these common wedding norms and start wondering if they are really necessary and true. Well, today we will be sharing with you our thoughts on their relevance in our current context!
Wedding Norms #1 : Your Wedding Date Must Not Clash With Certain Festive Periods
There are several festive periods that wedding couples avoid or have been advised to avoid holding their wedding during that period. These usually include Chinese New Year and Hungry Ghost Festival.
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Two sides of the reasonings have been cited for this avoidance. Firstly, some of you may be wondering why avoid the Chinese New Year period since it is an auspicious period? The Chinese believes that a ‘red event’ should not clash with another ‘red event’. In this case, both wedding and the Chinese New Year period are considered ‘red events’. Other ‘red events’ include birthdays and your friends’ weddings (if they are happening 3 months before or after your wedding).
Is it still relevant today? We have heard how some wedding couples avoid attending other wedding events as advised by their geomancer. If you intend to decline your friend’s wedding invitation, then you have to explain from your point of view. Usually the reason is how the deemed ‘bad luck’ affects the guest (and not the wedding couple).
Also, wedding couples avoid holding their wedding during the 7th lunar month as this is the Hungry Ghost Festival. According to folklore, the hell gate is opened and ghosts will wander around in search of foods during the 7th month. Weddings during that month ‘increases’ your contact with ‘dirty things’!
There is still a considerable number of wedding couples who would avoid such festive periods. But hey, because of such norms or taboos, booking of hotel wedding venues are not marked up during these periods! So if you aren’t particular, then booking during these periods would be great!
Wedding Norms #2 : Your Red Packet Amount Must Cover The Banquet Table Expense At Its Minimum
Money is a very sensitive topic and will always be touchy for the years to come. Most guests would feel obligated to give an amount which covers the price of the banquet table at its minimum. For example, if the wedding banquet table of 10 pax costs $1,600, this means that per pax would cost $160.
You would have come across websites tabulating a list of the prices of wedding banquet tables. Based on that, you can then calculate how much it would cost per person. However, you have to check if the prices you see includes the 7% GST and 10% Service Charge!
Now that you know how much per pax costs, the question is, do you need to pay that minimum amount? Or is it acceptable to use pay any amount you are comfortable with since the purpose is to give your blessing to the wedding couple?
Regardless of the above, weddings are happy occasions and money shouldn’t be in the way. What matters most is that people took the time to be a part of your happiest day! While the amount helps cover your expenses, that shouldn’t determine their purpose of attending your wedding.
Wedding Norms #3 : You Mustn’t Wear Inauspicious Colours Such as Black
This applies to both guests and wedding couple, but more so for the latter. Some brides would avoid wearing black or monochrome colours for their wedding gowns as they are deemed to be inauspicious. In addition, such solemn colours are usually worn for funerals or wakes.
As the saying goes, ‘A wedding is between two families’ and this is somewhat true to a certain extent. It wouldn’t be a great feeling if your parents or parent-in-law frown in despair as you grace the aisle in ‘inauspicious’ colours!
However, there are some brides who still don black or monochrome wedding gowns. Of course, while it is always encouraged to respect the views of your parents and elders, there seem to be a some sort of power struggle between them and the brides. After all, it is the wedding couple’s big day.
The solution to such situation is really compromisation. If your black wedding gown is being frowned upon, why not consider other colours? Furthermore, other colours may also look gorgeous on you too! Alternatively, if you prefer dark colours, perhaps you may choose navy blue or dark blue for your wedding gown!
While some wedding norms are deemed as taboo or superstition, they really depend on whether you have engaged a geomancer and if you and your family believe them. Sometimes, ignorance can really be a bliss (and less hassle)!
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